I started this blog because I couldn’t find a voice in the Catholic social media sphere that spoke to my position as a devout Catholic, married to someone who does not share my faith. I suspected that I am not alone in this situation.
I converted to Catholicism in 2016, a few months after I met my husband. I began the process of RCIA before I knew him, and once I met him, I explained my religious journey and he was supportive of my conversion. He attended the Vigil Mass in which I was received into the Church even though we had only been dating for about three months at that time, which is a special memory for me. Although that is when I officially became Catholic, I would say that much of my love for, and commitment to, the faith has grown since then.
My husband is, in fact, Catholic by baptism, and would consider himself as such. However, faith is not an important part of his life: I go to Mass alone (with the baby) 90% of the time, our daughter’s faith formation is entirely my responsibility, and we certainly don’t pray together as a family. On the other hand, we agreed that our daughter should be baptised in the Catholic church, and he generally is not resistant to me encouraging a faith life for her.
I mention all this to demonstrate that my situation may be ‘easier’ than that of others, whose spouses may be more antagonistic towards their faith. I want this blog to be for anyone who feels that their faith is not shared by their spouse, but I recognise that there is a spectrum of difficulty and that my situation is not the hardest. However, I strongly believe that God wants us all to delight in our relationship with Him no matter our personal circumstances, and that He absolutely does not want any of us to give up on faith simply because we do not have families that are perfectly unified in belief.
There have been times when I’ve felt that God is disappointed in me because I didn’t wait for a practising Catholic spouse, or that He must think I just didn’t love or trust Him enough to break off my relationship when I realised that we may never be on the same page about matters of faith. I feared that I was doomed to a life of imperfect faith because I had failed to find a man who shared my beliefs 100%. I even worried that I would have to choose between my relationship and my faith, and was afraid that God would abandon me if I stayed in the relationship.
But here’s the thing: despair does not come from God. Yes, God asks us to do hard things. Yes, God sometimes wants us to walk away from things that make us happy because He has a better plan for us. Only you know what God is asking of you, and you must be honest with Him and with yourself in order to discern what He wants from you and your relationship. I can promise, though, that He is not going to abandon you because you went off-script from His plan. And I can also promise you that the Catholic mommies of Instagram, Facebook and the blogosphere do not know better than God does what is good for you.
I believe fully in Christ, His Church and Her teachings. I am not here to promote heresies. I am here to tell you that you can live your faith fully and fruitfully no matter the circumstances of your marriage or relationship.